Mushrooms at work


Somewhere deep in the forests and mountains an entirely different life form is hard at work. Various fungi in several forms are busy. Connecting, collaborating and co-working with many types of colleagues, creating stuff.

Somewhere near Kramfors mushrooms are producing resources (ready for extraction) as well as producing themselves, here we offer a glimpse into their work process.


By: J.K. Bergstrand-Doley 
A specter is haunting Europe, the specter of mushrooms(aka. Pilze als Partnern. Mushrooms as managers) I am with Jens, we have... like, a meeting I would propose we start investing in forest futures. That way we can get some returns on our growth. Good morning everyone. My last job was as a compost communist. I think my main weakness is that I am real, but you see me as a specter, a ghost you find in the forest, or sometimes just another leaf. I am shit hot with dead wood, but nobody notices. Late night. I just undressed in my empty flat, it cost me a fortune! It overlooks a park and has nice old wooden flooring that I have had sanded. I later realized that I live on dead wood. I live on the labour of others. If I have done well for myself, it is by standing on the shoulders of other mushrooms. The other day I went on a tinder date. It was a full-on night. I woke up in the morning with a sore patch. It was genital warts. Home office for the next few weeks. I still don't get it... how can a mushroom get a mushroom? It turned out that we both had an obsession for photocopying memes. At the beginning I thought they liked me for my glossy cap but on our second date they confessed that they were more interested in my long mycelium. Now I can't think straight, do they only want me for my fruiting body? At that moment I realized that I am okay with being a personification of mediocracy. My therapist says I'm too hard on myself. But I know I am mediocre. I failed and will fail again. I have therefore started to think outside the box, no more simple chewing on receipts and meme printouts, tomorrow I am heading straight for the top, next job clearing up nuclear spillage! Never mind, I’m still here doing the paperwork, a bored mushroom in a mushroom boardroom. In an online workshop the other day, my HR-manager told us: “it’s often said that ‘data is the new oil.’ Instead, we’d argue that it’s mushrooms that will decide whether businesses succeed”. Later that night I sneaked into my boss' office. I felt it was time I was recognized as both producer and produced! Of course I could have gone on with my life. I had it all: a lovely flat, mushy peas and keys to a private garden where I grew tomatoes and rucola. But it was when I was lighting the fireplace in the salon that I noticed I had totally fucked up my heart chakra. I began by ripping up my shiny wooden floor boards, getting rid of my cutlery, then the sofa, then the bed. Now I'm all in. No possessions. On my own. Seems like they forget that the worse it gets the more I thrive. They normally only focus on results. They don't see the late-night shifts, the daily grind. My one small victory is working from home on Mondays, which I basically see as a free holiday. I want them to see what really produces me. My boss said, "fungi that invest more in the funeral industry actually outperform their peers over time". I guess I will outperform myself when I am dead and gone. Then I can sip on dead-wood cocktails and finally start taking it easy. The following Monday I was hanging out in my home-office, doing nothing. Suddenly I felt a hand grip my body. It slunk over my damp skin. Squeezing my cap. In one brutal cut I was detached from my mycelium. Now I am drying on a radiator, shrinking and crumbling. No more home-office for me. I’ve been extracted. The next day, my boss called me in to a meeting. It turned out I had been demoted, I was no longer needed upstairs they said. My new office was the basement. It was dark and damp. Turned out that I flourish in dark and damp environments. Already in my second week I had tripled my growth forecast. By the time my boss came around again I was bigger then the business.